judith/moonrise/serene/peacock (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
poker_face) wrote2011-11-09 08:09 pm
poker_face) wrote2011-11-09 08:09 pm
Entry tags:
Meme
Gosh, I'm behind on memories and skills... But I kind of want to ramble a bit about Judith. Fair warning, I suck at character essays, but I'm going to try!
Now, I had a sort of approach that I decided I wanted to take with Judith when I first got her, and that was a very blank slate approach. It's why I chose the memory for her I did-- because it had both sides of her in it, and that is the side that honestly enjoys people and their company, and the side that is a lying liar who lies about lying. Judith's development in Aather, with the memories that she got back at first, very heavily favored her towards her latter side.
Which was interesting, because Judith purported to be very proud of Sapphire! And the weird part is, she is proud of Sapphire. She really, honestly, wouldn't want to be on any other team. But there are times, including now, where she wishes she was given the option to not be on a team without being a knight. Judith, for the most part, dislikes the games on principle, though she never really expresses that.
And then there is the problem that when Excel first started attacking her for Judith's preference in dress, that kind of put a wedge between her and Sapphire at large? She doesn't like being restricted in any way, and this kind of drove home for her that Sapphire is a sort of restriction. One she ignores sometimes, and one she loves at other times. But that put that into her mind, and it's around then that she stopped making quite as exerted an effort to get to know her team? :'D WHICH WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA.
Because the only person who bridged that gap for her was Mal. And she really liked Mal, enough so that she was willing to forget the restrictions that Aather placed on them, and was willing to try a situation she really was having a hard time dealing with, due to her... love-hate relationship with Mitchell. And. yes.
Then Mal left, and she had a pretty. Eventful talk with Jaina, especially after the Twins' wager, where she and Mitchell slept together, which she now views as a mistake. Funny enough, though, the idea that it was a mistake is only really recent? Well. I should say, if not for her talk with Jaina, where she got the impression that pretty much the entire blame for what happened was being placed on her. And Jaina revealed some pretty nasty thoughts she had about Judith's personality. So, it was after that it became an active mistake, versus a thing that happened that was kind of fun but she wouldn't do it again.
WHICH PUTS HER IN HER CURRENT MINDFRAME. Poker face, poker face, poker face. Judith was legitimately bothered by the things Jaina said, which were pretty damn similar to the things Excel would say. And so now she feels a wedge between her and Aather. Which leads to extremely distant conversations, and a slight inability to deal because of her memories, where she knows she has the tools to cope with these things, but she doesn't know where she got them. And even as she distances herself, she can't help but feel awful and helpless. And that bugs her as much as her own wounds to her pride.
Basically, Judith is not in a good place right now. :|a And isn't really telling anyone about every part of it.
So, I will finish this off with a Question Meme! Since I haven't done one in 2 months on the dot.
Now, I had a sort of approach that I decided I wanted to take with Judith when I first got her, and that was a very blank slate approach. It's why I chose the memory for her I did-- because it had both sides of her in it, and that is the side that honestly enjoys people and their company, and the side that is a lying liar who lies about lying. Judith's development in Aather, with the memories that she got back at first, very heavily favored her towards her latter side.
Which was interesting, because Judith purported to be very proud of Sapphire! And the weird part is, she is proud of Sapphire. She really, honestly, wouldn't want to be on any other team. But there are times, including now, where she wishes she was given the option to not be on a team without being a knight. Judith, for the most part, dislikes the games on principle, though she never really expresses that.
And then there is the problem that when Excel first started attacking her for Judith's preference in dress, that kind of put a wedge between her and Sapphire at large? She doesn't like being restricted in any way, and this kind of drove home for her that Sapphire is a sort of restriction. One she ignores sometimes, and one she loves at other times. But that put that into her mind, and it's around then that she stopped making quite as exerted an effort to get to know her team? :'D WHICH WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA.
Because the only person who bridged that gap for her was Mal. And she really liked Mal, enough so that she was willing to forget the restrictions that Aather placed on them, and was willing to try a situation she really was having a hard time dealing with, due to her... love-hate relationship with Mitchell. And. yes.
Then Mal left, and she had a pretty. Eventful talk with Jaina, especially after the Twins' wager, where she and Mitchell slept together, which she now views as a mistake. Funny enough, though, the idea that it was a mistake is only really recent? Well. I should say, if not for her talk with Jaina, where she got the impression that pretty much the entire blame for what happened was being placed on her. And Jaina revealed some pretty nasty thoughts she had about Judith's personality. So, it was after that it became an active mistake, versus a thing that happened that was kind of fun but she wouldn't do it again.
WHICH PUTS HER IN HER CURRENT MINDFRAME. Poker face, poker face, poker face. Judith was legitimately bothered by the things Jaina said, which were pretty damn similar to the things Excel would say. And so now she feels a wedge between her and Aather. Which leads to extremely distant conversations, and a slight inability to deal because of her memories, where she knows she has the tools to cope with these things, but she doesn't know where she got them. And even as she distances herself, she can't help but feel awful and helpless. And that bugs her as much as her own wounds to her pride.
Basically, Judith is not in a good place right now. :|a And isn't really telling anyone about every part of it.
So, I will finish this off with a Question Meme! Since I haven't done one in 2 months on the dot.
no subject
But then Guy actually bothered to talk to her when she was upset after the meeting. And he understood where she was coming from, when up to that point, she was feeling a little irrational for being so angry at Mitchell for daring to bring up his bloodlust at the meeting. And Guy, for all intents and purposes, talked her down from the angry cliff. And that was really the point in time where Judith's thoughts about Guy switched from "Oh, he's fun to troll" to more along the lines of actively seeking him out and enjoying his conversation?
She still, of course, loves to troll him, and loves to comment on how he's going to break some girl's heart some day, obviously, but she's kind of starting to go, "Oh, no. I wonder if that poor girl I was pitying this whole time could possibly be me?" Because now it has reached the point where she is okay with letting her poker face fade around him, and she is okay with him seeing completely through it more than she would be for a large majority of people within Aather. Which is some pretty serious stuff for a girl like Judith.
And then, just how her one point of happiness over the past few days was when he almost reached out and touched her. So, it's like, "... Well." Basically, Judy loev Guy and will continue trolling him as necessary. |Db
Reverse?
no subject
Then they really did start to talk, and he found himself comfortable enough with her to discuss little yet important things like their respective princesses, their angers and prejudices, their wishes to move forward and/or deal with those prejudices. So they seem to REALLY BE ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH PRETTY OFTEN... that was about when he started to actually trust her. And he really doesn't trust easy! Yet the particular topics of conversation, and the situations they've been in, have lent themselves to it.
He still pretty much says and does what comes immediately to mind, so that occasionally gets him into a corner with Judy :x because in the end she is a girl and if she gets too close he flips out. But that's such an accepted handicap on his part that he just continues to want to know her more and spend more time with her. He relaxes more around her, and when last they talked he didn't bother putting any walls up '-' WHICH, FOR GUY... he is changing a lot to make it more common, but it's still with a handful of people only and Judy is one of them most recently.
HE IS STARTING TO HAVE A LEGITIMATE CRUSH ON HER, biggest crush on a girl in aather, but he just stifles it because to him it's impossible. It doesn't stop him from blurt-flirting cuz he just DOES THAT, of course he'll tell judy she's beautiful when she's beautiful :T He's been made aware of it though because that ONE TIME KNIFE HELD HIS HAND AND HE WAS SUDDENLY ABLE TO BE CALM AROUND WOMEN, and Judy was there, he was immediately hit with the whole realm of possibility of NOT AFRAID OF JUDY... and it passed before he could really hang onto it. But it was a nice thought for a moment =(