Meme

[poker_face]

Gosh, I'm behind on memories and skills... But I kind of want to ramble a bit about Judith. Fair warning, I suck at character essays, but I'm going to try!

Now, I had a sort of approach that I decided I wanted to take with Judith when I first got her, and that was a very blank slate approach. It's why I chose the memory for her I did-- because it had both sides of her in it, and that is the side that honestly enjoys people and their company, and the side that is a lying liar who lies about lying. Judith's development in Aather, with the memories that she got back at first, very heavily favored her towards her latter side.

Which was interesting, because Judith purported to be very proud of Sapphire! And the weird part is, she is proud of Sapphire. She really, honestly, wouldn't want to be on any other team. But there are times, including now, where she wishes she was given the option to not be on a team without being a knight. Judith, for the most part, dislikes the games on principle, though she never really expresses that.

And then there is the problem that when Excel first started attacking her for Judith's preference in dress, that kind of put a wedge between her and Sapphire at large? She doesn't like being restricted in any way, and this kind of drove home for her that Sapphire is a sort of restriction. One she ignores sometimes, and one she loves at other times. But that put that into her mind, and it's around then that she stopped making quite as exerted an effort to get to know her team? :'D WHICH WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA.

Because the only person who bridged that gap for her was Mal. And she really liked Mal, enough so that she was willing to forget the restrictions that Aather placed on them, and was willing to try a situation she really was having a hard time dealing with, due to her... love-hate relationship with Mitchell. And. yes.

Then Mal left, and she had a pretty. Eventful talk with Jaina, especially after the Twins' wager, where she and Mitchell slept together, which she now views as a mistake. Funny enough, though, the idea that it was a mistake is only really recent? Well. I should say, if not for her talk with Jaina, where she got the impression that pretty much the entire blame for what happened was being placed on her. And Jaina revealed some pretty nasty thoughts she had about Judith's personality. So, it was after that it became an active mistake, versus a thing that happened that was kind of fun but she wouldn't do it again.

WHICH PUTS HER IN HER CURRENT MINDFRAME. Poker face, poker face, poker face. Judith was legitimately bothered by the things Jaina said, which were pretty damn similar to the things Excel would say. And so now she feels a wedge between her and Aather. Which leads to extremely distant conversations, and a slight inability to deal because of her memories, where she knows she has the tools to cope with these things, but she doesn't know where she got them. And even as she distances herself, she can't help but feel awful and helpless. And that bugs her as much as her own wounds to her pride.

Basically, Judith is not in a good place right now. :|a And isn't really telling anyone about every part of it.

So, I will finish this off with a Question Meme! Since I haven't done one in 2 months on the dot.

Comments

[poker_face]

OH GOSH, Judith loves Raven. She is kind of aware that he's not dealing well, but she doesn't know how to get through to him? So she wants to ask Raven what's wrong, but that leads to the potential of Raven turning around and asking her what's wrong, and she knows that would shut down the entire discussion. BUT SHE WORRIES ABOUT HIM, and it's not really helped by her current frame of mine.

I am not sure if the guild had been as fully formed when I last did this, but she is pretty damn grateful for Raven for giving her that option. Because it's something she can choose, aside from being forced into. So, she considers him close-- and she honestly understands the fondness she has of him in her memories. It just differs slightly than canon, because he is sort of the leader? Even though she doesn't actively view him as the leader of the guild, at least not like she views Yuri as the leader of the party. And she's fairly certain Raven wouldn't appreciate being made the leader, even though the guild was his idea.

She also is quietly amused by Yuri and Raven. Which is also something she won't ever say out loud, just occasionally imply.

AS FOR LAST THREAD, She honestly was, for a moment, "What do I do?" She wasn't expecting that, and it wasn't something she thought she would hear so... earnestly? from Raven. And because she's still stinging from Mal leaving, she wasn't really able to approach it like she normally would. She couldn't bring herself to play along that much, and instead focused on changing the conversation and getting him some water. She probably won't bring it up directly with him again-- as she assumes it wasn't, you know, honesty, versus Raven's coping mechanisms gone to extremes under the influence of alcohol. And because she herself isn't able to deal well right now either.

SO, REVERSE!

[telltaleheart]

sob why don't we have any of the Vesperia party that doesn't suck at feelings.

Regardless RAVEN LOVES JUDITH. She is really important to him, and remains a comforting presence to have around when she's there. But he still sort of assumes that she... has her own stuff going on that he's not part of, and that she has more or less under control. BECAUSE SHE'S AN IMPRESSIVE LADY and that his his default assumption, and she hasn't done anything exceptionally dumb like get her eyes ripped out, cough Yuri cough.

He really, really appreciates having her in the guild, too. There is no way in hell he would have tried to set up something like it on her own, so he is grateful to have her around, even if it just means being able to say "go talk to Judith about it" instead of making hard decisions. |D

IN THAT THREAD HE WAS REALLY... okay a lot of it was coping mechanism. For the whole game he was pretty much reacting to all his feelings for Yuri for the past day by going GOD YURI IS NOT STANDING AROUND OBSESSED WITH ONLY ME, I WILL GO FLIRT WITH ALL THE WOMEN, IT WILL BE COOL. But also... it is not like that is completely shallow, he cares a lot about most of the women he was flirting with, and of course Judith isn't an exception! He does love Judith, and of course thinks she's really attractive. And he does genuinely want to see Judith happy. And in normal circumstances he wouldn't think that him making out with her would have that effect, but fortunately the alcohol was helping with that. :'D

DO YOU HAVE ANY GUILD THINGS YOU WANT TO DO, Raven has been slacking on it, which is fortunate because I have been OOCly slacking on it as well.

[poker_face]

I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE ANOTHER MEETING. So everyone could get involved, and decide how the guild operates, say, during games or times of crisis. Might be relevant for the next few weeks.

What is Raven's love life looking like overall right now?

[telltaleheart]

LIKE A MESS. LIKE IT USUALLY DOES. APPARENTLY.

He still has a thing for Misato! And she loves him too but has decided that since she's dead she shouldn't be with anyone because it won't last, or something like that. /o\ So currently they are just friends.

He made out with Spitfire more or less voluntarily as a casual friendly thing, but hated himself enough for it that I think he's not letting it happen again at least until he feels like he knows Spitfire a little better? IDK.

He still owes Inara a date but probably that's thoroughly platonic at this point. :|a

I don't... know what's going on with Beatrice?? But that's definitely a thing. Of some kind. He offered to let her hurt him if she wanted to the other day! And just in general he flirts with her a lot, and she is probably actually the person he's had the most fun with lately? And somehow they actually talk about stuff too.

AND OF COURSE HE'S HAVING SEX WITH YURI. They haven't actually worked out anything like all of their issues. But it's possible they are... chipping at them? Slowly? At the moment it might still be a pretty questionable decision though because he keeps having emotional crises every time they thread.

How did Judith get attached to Mal? I did not stalk much of their early threads.

[poker_face]

Oh gosh. She became fond of Mal through trolling him, constantly. Which she only really started doing after Narcissus' prettiest person poll. And Mal got drunk later, admitted to Mau that he thought Judith was one of the hottest people in Aather, and Mau told Judith. Who, in turn, just started trolling Mal as much as possible. Because before that, she really didn't honestly troll people much with her looks.

And the trolling got a little less trolling and a little more flirting as time went on, because they had so much interaction together. But finally, Judith got her memory of the war and just-- left Sapphire? And Mal followed. And then let her beat the crap out of him, before he pulled her into a hug. Which was kind of exactly what she needed at that point.

And so she kissed him, and the rest kind of flowed from there.

Does Raven have any goals in Aather?